| Voodoo Goatcheese's Groovy Boogie Cha Cha Page | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| From the midsts of time, it emerged. The Holy Snail of Avalon!!! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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So this is (christmas) my web page. What you see before you is a result of 10 minutes solid toil and labour, battling the elements (and boredom) to produce what I affectionately call : The Ugly Duckling(1). None of what you will find here will ever be of any use to you. It will never come up in tests; never be on "Who wants to be a Millionaire"; in fact, why are you even bothering to look here? Read on and hopefully I'll be able to give you a reason why. BUY BRITISH GOATCHEESE!!! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| (round)About myself- a section dedicated to clogs, snogs and big green frogs | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Firstly, I would like to apologise. This section contains none or very little of the promised above. But then, why would it? My name is Kev. I am 17 years old (yawn) I'm a manic depressive with my head in the sand I'm a drugged up hippy with a knackered right hand My GOD can be found with the holy GOATCHEESE May your goats be fertile and your cheese:Yes Please! I hope to bring you in the future: The Many lives of Karl the Hamster The Goatcheese Shrine The Milky Way And many more interestingly named, yet nevertheless meaningless sections. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Many Lives of Karl the Hamster | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Life No.1- Karl goes house hunting | One sunny day, Karl the hamster decided it was time he moved out of his parents mansion and go look for a place himself. As he scurried past an estate agents place, he caught a glimpse of a luxury cardboard box, being advertised inside the window. Well, eventually Karl bought this box, which just so happened to be next to a local cat sanctuary. All his neighbours were jealous of Karl because he had a top of the range box. Unfortuanately he had to cycle everywhere due to the fact that he believed that cars are evil. A nasty hamster from down the road had the dumb idea of letting out a couple of the cats from the sanctuary. The cats ran down to Karls house and saw him through the window. Unfortunately for him, Karl was a little slow, and thought that the words "Cat. No." printed on the side of the box meant that no felines could penetrate the defences of the box, which consisted of ... a mouse trap. Silly Karl decided to show his lardy arse out the window at the cats. They got really mad because of this. Then came Karl's downfall. He had a flatulance problem, and when he farted, it was one mega fart. Well at this moment in time, he did just that. What he failed to realise was that these cats were pyromaniacs, and had just got a blowtorch burning. Oh dear! Poor Karl! The power of his windy bottom, combined with the flame from the blowtorch caused an inevitable explosion. Boom! Karl perished, along with half of his resident street, Rotastak Lane, including the nasty hamster, Alex. Basically, the morals of this story are: 1- Pulling moonies at people bigger than u is a BAD idea, especially if they own a blowtorch. 2- Buy a car. If you survive the initial blast, a car helps you escape the enemy. 3- If you happen to be called Alex, change your name, NOW! Don't ask questions just do it. 4- Most importantly, if u do happen to own a fortune, give me some. I'm sure it will make u feel a lot better helping the poor and needy (ie.basically me) than living in some big house next to a couple of pyromaniacs. So that's it for now. More should be added later (if I can be bothered to move my bony arse) email me if you liked it or if you just thing I'm a twat. Cheers!
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